It’s that glorious time of year again where the rain falls hard and the wind blows cold. It’s February, the month that nobody loves. When most people think of winter they’ll think of snow and Santa, but that joy’s come and gone. Now there’s no change of leaves, no holiday spirit and definitely no decent weather. So, here’s our top 5 reasons why February sucks.
You begin your day in the warmth of your bed dreaming of your latest holiday. Then the piercing sound of your alarm throws you into a reality where any limb left out of the covers turns immediately to ice. It makes you want to stay in bed, even more so than usual. Then you have to defrost your car for 20 minutes, which nobody ever remembers to do in advance. Then you’re late to work and you’ll probably freeze to death in any journey between your car and employer. Did we mention it’s pitch black? Oh and it will be when you leave too, your entire existence is this way now.
The one day of the year where PDA couples are permitted to flaunt how happy they are. When the cashier at Tesco says, “aww I bet they’ll love that” when you buy any oversized chocolate bar. As if it’s not socially acceptable to go home and get through that in one sitting. You can’t even cash in on the cheap chocolate clearance the few days after. Then you just look like the one who doesn’t care enough about their loved one to pay full price. All I want to do is buy bargain chocolate and cry myself to sleep, is that too much to ask?!
Christmas is over, New Years is over, all celebrations are done. You’ve spent 2months walking around the set of ‘Love Actually’ any time you’ve left the house. Everything in December is shrouded in beautiful lights, which phases out a bit in January. In February, it’s gone. It’s all gone and now you have to face reality in that everything is a bit shit and grey. So you stop leaving the house and you stay inside, then you become bored. But you can’t do anything with your time that doesn’t involve spending money because the artic sits outside your door! So, you end up sticking Love Actually back on and wishing you were Keira Knightley, regardless of gender.
In January, you’re full of hope. You’ve got the whole year ahead of you and you’re gonna do great things! Well now it’s February and you’ve got 11 months of gym membership still to pay for, you’ve not learnt a single word of Spanish and you’re slowly coming to terms with the fact that you stopped achieving after birth.
It’s literally months away, that’s practically a decade. The holiday that you couldn’t afford anyway is basically never gonna come. You might as well continue eating reduced, heart-shaped chocolates and speaking broken English. Buy some new swimwear 2 sizes too small if you really want but I’d honestly put the money into a nice fleece.
So just face it, February sucks, nobody likes it. We all feel secretly feel sorry for that family member who was born in such a pathetic month. Don’t worry though, Easter is within sight so there’s plenty more reduced chocolate to come.
Why do you think February sucks so much? We’d love to hear it.
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