Item Added
0 items (£0.00) | Checkout

McDonalds Breakfast: The Pain Of Arriving 1 Minute Late

ronalds-mcdonald-main-image.jpg

You wake up in the morning to a grumbly tummy. It's Saturday, so despite the growling going on in your guts, you take your time getting dressed. Maybe you read the paper or surf the net while you fully transition from the haze of sleep to being fully awake. Finally, the hunger becomes overwhelming, so you slip on your shoes and head to the nearest McDonalds to satisfy your intense yearning for a McMuffin, hashbrown and coffee.

There's a bit of a queue, but you don't mind. It's Saturday, so there's no reason to be in a rush. You stare up at the breakfast menu, and that McMuffin is looking back temptingly, seductively. By the time you reach the counter, you can almost taste its deliciousness on your lips. You state your order clearly and precisely. You prepare to present and payment. You are just a mere moment away from delicious McMuffin satisfaction...

BUT NOT SO FAST!

With a wicked gleam in his eye, the chap at the counter shakes his head. "I'm sorry. It's 10:31 - we're no longer serving breakfast!"

You are devastated. The loss of the perfect breakfast strikes deep into your soul. You proceed through the stages of grief:

1. Denial.

But no! No! My watch says 10:25. Look! Look at it! Breakfast isn't over! It's not.

2. Anger.

NOW LISTEN HERE, PUNK. I HAVE BEEN IN THIS BUILDING SINCE 10:15 AT LEAST. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE TOO STUPID AND SLOW AND THE QUEUE TOOK FOREVER!! I'M NOT LEAVING THIS PLACE UNTIL I HAVE MY EGG MCMUFFIN.

3. Bargaining.

Wait. Wait. I see a Double Sausage and Egg Muffin right there. RIGHT THERE!! What if I pay double for it?!? Triple?!? What if I promise to give you my first born child in exchange for it?!?

4. Depression.

I will never live to taste another McMuffin. Life is meaningless. I am standing on the edge of a breakfast-less abyss and there is nothing to stop me from stepping off...

5. Acceptance.

*sigh* I suppose I'll...have a burger and chips.

And so there you are....eating lunch at a time that is clearly not intended for lunch. What might be a delicious meal at any other moment in the day tastes only of despair and the saltiness of your tears.

"Why 10:30?" you whisper as you dip a chip into the sauce. "Why?"

Although we have all toiled long under the terrible constraints of 10:30AM McMuffin cutoffs, there is some hope that the next generation may never know of these horrors. Last Month, McDonalds tested a trial program at select locations in San Diego where breakfast was served all day long. While there's no word yet how the test panned out, we can all have hope that the good people of San Diego showed an interest in eating those golden delicious hashbrowns at other hours of the day, so that the restaurant will expand the all-day breakfast program to locations worldwide.

Until then, we'll all have to try and set our alarm clocks a little earlier and continue to suffer under the tyranny of McDonalds workers.

Recommended for you

How Do You Respond When A Baby Smiles At You?

Babies. Those little humans are cute, right? That cuteness of babies is ..

How To Avoid Kiss On The Lips Auntie

You haven't seen her in ages. She spots you immediately and heads toward ..

The Friend That Eats All The Food

The Friend That Eats All the Food. He or she may be a perfectly lovely ..

Get Involved

SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EXCLUSIVE OFFERS & NEW PRODUCT RELEASES