It always starts innocently. Some friend or family member asks, "What are you doing this weekend?"
You say, "Not a thing! Want to get together?" The prospect of spending time with that person already has you excited, so excited that you've stepped into a very dangerous trap.
You realise your mistake a moment later when the question comes, "Why don't we go to a Car Boot sale, then?"
At this point, you should immediately flee the situation as quickly as you can, or at least you should, if you don't want to end up wasting a perfectly fine day off work.
Let's face it. There's no good reason to go to a car boot sale! For one thing, the items on sale there have already been identified as rubbish by their owners. Can you think of any other situation where you'd willingly pay someone for the honour of taking home their shit? Of course not.
Most of the time, you don't see a thing that you can actually use, yet you still go home with some rubbish because the sad eyes of the seller gets you in the gut. You don't want to offend them by telling them that they're rubbish is rubbish, so you end up paying for someones else useless junk that you'll probably never ever use.
At the end of the day, you end up with nothing but wasted time, some junk that will eventually end up in the dustbin (or maybe survive your attic long enough to eventually end up back at your very own car boot sale) and very, very muddy feet.
Don't hate the sellers, though! (You'll soon be one of them - selling the exact shit you just bought) Car Boot sales are just as silly and pointless for them. First off, the whole process begins at 5AM. Yes, 5 in the morning. If that wasn't enough of a reason to say no thanks to selling, there's the cold and the weather to contend with. So you're freezing, you're likely wet, and all of your rubbish is being handled by perfect strangers.
Between customers, you stand there stupidly and sometimes are forced to make conversation with other sellers who very well could be mentally disturbed if they're enjoying the whole Car Boot sale business. When a customer does come, they never want to pay a fair price for what you're selling, so you either let your rubbish go for practically nothing, or you go home with more than three-quarters of the rubbish left.
And how much money do you actually make selling all that rubbish? If you're lucky, enough to cover the lunch that you have to buy midway through the event and the cost of petrol to and from the place you've set up. But not so fast--there's a very good chance that after all of the mind-numbing standing about and doing nothing, you're going to start looking at other people's rubbish and buying some for no good reason.
There truly is no good reason whatsoever to engage in the madness that is the Car Boot Sale. The next time someone asks what you're doing on the weekend say, "Anything but going to a Car Boot sale!" And get ready to send along this article if they ask you why.
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